My Life is a Snow Globe

You know how when you look at a snow globe everything is still and quiet? And then you shake the hell out of it, and chaos rains in the form of all the "snow" falling everywhere? I often feel that way about life.
One of my biggest projects since I got home Sunday night has been to go through all of the things in each of my parent's houses in efforts to be completely moved out by April on my next trip back. At mom's I came across my old snow globe collection, tucked and buried away in my closet--a happy collection of memories throughout my life.

I received my first snow globe as a gift from my dad on a trip to Yellowstone National Park some time in elementary school. It was a lone bison set in a meadow, with yellowed rocks surrounding the outer base. I had fallen in love with those majestic animals and thought this ceramic trinket with it's swirling glitter would be the perfect souvenir to take home with me to remember this trip. Each of my sisters and I were able to pick out one item from the gift shop on our two-week National Parks trip and I couldn't imagine anything better than this.

I was fascinated with turning the globe upside down and shaking it, watching the glitter-snow fall upon the beast while I examined the intricate detail in his hair and fur. I had examined every one on the shelf--choosing the one that did not have an air bubble in the top, the one without any paint chipped off. Once we were back home, I would look at it as a magical world that I wished I could step inside of (this was at the beginning of my love for National Parks), and this was how my love of snow globes and my collection began.

Over the years, my collection has expanded to include around thirty snow globes. Some of them I purchased at different momentous occasions in my life, but most of them were given to me as a gift from a friend or family member who knew about my collection. With some dating all the way back to elementary school, not only do the snow globes themselves tell a story, but they also remind me of a person or time period in my life. One was brought back to me as a birthday present from my best friend who traveled to Europe on a family vacation--showing how strong a friendship it was for someone to use their precious baggage space on a usually seemingly-silly trinket. Another was given to me as a souvenir from Disney World, marking the trip that was the very last time I ever saw my grandmother. It is moments and events like those that will live on forever through that snow globe. For these reasons, I want to make sure I always take care of my col lection properly to preserve them.

As I continued to look through the neglected globes on my shelf, I noticed the water in some of them turning from clear to yellow. Others have bubbles forming inside and a few appear to be leaking. The majority though are still in mint condition. As I noticed these changes, I started making mental notes to make repairs. It was then I realized, not only do I have no idea how to make these repairs by myself--I like the reality of the imperfections.

My life feels like a snow globe right about now. On a slightly less-than-my-usual-optomistic-self side, I'm one of those little figures trapped in a little world. Occasionally I wander up, tap on the glass, and proclaim, "It's time to get the heck out of here!"

I've been doing better with my new Colorado life. I created a little routine and have been doing better with handling the transition, and now someone picked up the snow globe and shook it. Perhaps it was because of the anticipation of going home...who knows. Either way, when life changes are new and exciting, they are also stressful and complicated.

Any big choices in life are supposed to be with confidence in whatever huge leaps of faith you are taking, and instead I find myself hanging out in my snow globe where occasionally someone picks me up and shakes me. Snow globes are volatile. You put yourself on a shelf--available for the shaking or the rattling of the cage, if you will.

So I guess here's what I'm learning about life in the snow globe. It's largely about Faith. Faith in the prayers you've said that haven't been answered. Faith in the people who surround you in your little world. Faith that at some point, you'll get yourself out of the globe and everything and everyone will stop shaking. Life will be peaceful again. Until then though, and here's the hard part, you have to have Faith that you'r e in the right hands.

Shake your life, often and vigorously. Don't let the snowflakes hit the bottom of your globe. Life is far too short to settle.

Star of Wonder

Last night, Melinda and I had a quality sister night out, complete with Subway and a Christmas program at a church in Phoenix. When we arrived at the (mega-)church, we were expecting something amazing because Dad has told us a little about some of the animals that were in the show and we knew Monica was playing in the pit, but we were not at all ready for:

• A 40-foot singing Christmas tree
• Silk aerial artists
• A full orchestra and choir
• A host of flying angels
• Pyrotechnics
• Confetti cannons
• High School Musical-style performers
• Rappelling
• Break-dancing toy soldiers
• Bing Crosby (via vintage video)
• A stunning laser light show
• Exotic animals-including camels, a tiger, an elephant, and a kangaroo

This was not your grandmother's church Christmas play. That is, unless Granny attends Phoenix First Assembly. We were completely amazed and impressed by everything we saw, and the show was QUITE good! The story began with a little girl who is sitting in her bed wishing upon a star when she realizes she has everything she wants. The star (another little girl--both of whom were FANTASTIC actresses) flies in from the ceiling and takes the girl on a journey between three seemingly-unrelated families (you find how they are linked in the end) to try and help them find the holiday spirit and pass on the good news.

My favorite dialogue throughout the show was a singing interaction near the end between Sam (the girl) and the Star...

SAM: "Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are!"
STAR: "Star of wonder, star of light, star of royal beauty bright!"

I have always been fascinated by stars and the sky--learning about constellations and the stories they tell, dating back to the beginning of time. One of my favorite things to do is lie in the middle of nowhere and just watch the sky in amazement as the stars pass by.

"Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years," -- Genesis 1:14.

On my way home last night after meeting up with some old friends after the show, I was lucky enough for the clouds to let the moon shine through so I could see the lunar eclipse. After some research, I found out that this was the first total lunar eclipse on the winter solstice since 1638. (Luckily we don't have to wait that long for the next time in 2094). Through some more research, I accidentally came across a star-sky video and other papers with evidence to believe there was a total lunar eclipse on the day of Christ's death.

How completely AWEsome that there is a new moon on the magnificent day of birth. New moon. New life. The Star of Bethlehem completely illuminated in the sky, even more bright with the lack of light from a moon. Now, the counterpart event: a total lunar eclipse. Full moon. Full life. Blotted out with an amber glow, almost as if blotted out by blood.

I think the stars are awesome evidence of a greater work and an additional purpose, all a part of the great celestial poem.

Fall Colors

It's finally starting to feel like Fall. The leaves are turning colors and if you get up early enough in the morning, there is a crispness to the air. Between the vibrant colors, the delicious smells, and the way the air seems to gain an added measure of freshness makes this, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful times of the year.

As I was driving around Northern Colorado today across the front range, I was thinking about the awe and majesty of it all. I started thinking about the early mornings when I wake up to go for work, before the sun even begins to shine. The colors aren't vibrant but instead dull shades of gray and black. The smells of fall are absent except for the exhaust from cars passing by on the road. Even the air is more than crisp--almost solid from the chill temperatures.

Despite all that, I still know what the trees will look like in a little bit when the sun climbs over the horizon. I know what wonderful scents will flirt with my nostrils and that the crispness of the air will again offer me the feeling of being alive!

As I was driving earlier today, the sun had already been out for hours so the colors and smells were abundant. I began to look closer at the different shades in the trees as the greens were turning into yellows, and the yellows into reds. As I examined the branches though, I realized that many of the trees had the three colors all going on at the same time. The outermost leaves had gone through the cycle to become a dark red but the inner leaves were still a pale green.

I thought about this more and started to notice similarities with life.

Naturally, people have trouble with change. They (myself included) try to hold on to the familiar as long as possible, keeping objects and situations as close as possible to avoid any interferences. These are the green leaves--the leaves that are sheltered close to the trunk. The shade from the outer branches don't allow the sun to seep through and start the color changing process.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the red leaves are those that stretch up to the sun. These are the furthest from the center, and it makes me start to wonder about letting go of the familiar and letting the Son do it's job.

The conflict within one of these multicolored trees makes me think about my life right now. It's hard to let go of being in control all the time, but I need to just trust that things can take of themselves if I give them the chance to work out the way they naturally should.

A Teacher's Serenity

I can't tell you how many times I've heard the quote or even told someone else, "the only constant in life is change." Anyone who knows me knows that I try and defy that every day due to my incessant need to plan every detail of my life, but I am learning to deal with this "obsession." As much as I have tried, I have found myself powerless to control the actions and attitudes of others. Experience has taught me that the only power I have is the ability to control my own reaction to a given situation.

For a control freak like me, working with pre-teens and young adolescents can prove to be exceptionally stressful. Some educators enter the junior high classroom with fear and trepidation due to the huge reputation middle schoolers have earned. In a world of energy, hormones, and peer pressure, the lone adult in the classroom must possess traits of a superhero in order to succeed.

After spending so much time focusing on my dreams of elementary general music teaching including my student teaching focus, I had established a clam and predictable classroom environment. I fully expected to continue similar class control methods with my older students; however, now just weeks into the school year, I have come to the terrifying realization that an hour with a group of young teens is FAR from predictable!!

My thoroughly detailed lesson plans for middle school would have been the pride of any college education professor. Dr. Stamer and Mr. Tackitt would have been so proud of the template I created for my notebook of daily lessons, combined with my chart of the standards and how they would each be addressed weekly. My plans were based upon sound teaching technique. Students would be able to demonstrate skill in sight-reading as well as in areas of vocal and instrumental development. All the while, they would also develop a love for music while being extremely courteous and cooperative. Day after day, my plans fell by the wayside and I reverted to "seat of your pants" survival techniques, constantly adjusting my daily lesson plans to adapt to the classroom shenanigans. For the past week or so, at the end of the day, I've felt like a failure.

Talking to my mom and friends about different things I could change to keep engagement and learning high in my classrooms, I started looking elsewhere for motivation and/or encouragement. Finally, after looking through a box I found in my closet filled with old cards, I came across a gift from my grandma--one of those wallet cards that had "The Serenity Prayer" in it. While this has been used in programs such as AA, these words offer exactly what I need to know as an educator of young people.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Let me share a few ways I have learned to adapt this message to my dealings with middle school students. I must admit that total serenity is not a state of mind that I have yet mastered, but when I allow myself to take a deep breath, smile, and think of these words, I feel a lessening of my stress level during rehearsal. I apply a bit of humor to the situation and become a better teacher.

The serenity to accept the things I cannot change:

• Boys will be boys! A boy who enters his first year of middle school choir is only a child. Although his body may resemble that of a teenager, he still possesses the qualities of a child. At age 11 or 12, most boys simply cannot be still. Wiggling is not an activity that they choose just to drive me crazy; they actually must move. This need for motion seems to be most satisfying when the movement results in hitting a neighbor. I am learning to give my boys lots of personal space on the risers to avoid potential problems.
  
  
• Girls will talk...and talk...and talk. Observe the soprano and alto sections during your next adult church choir practice. My guess is that during the rehearsal, singing among the women will be interspersed with chatter. If adult choir members find it difficult to keep their thoughts to themselves, why should we expect anything different from our younger counterparts? Females are very social beings. There is just so much to say! Young ladies can be trained to save talking for designated periods during the rehearsal, but it will take time and practice.
  
  
• Boys' voices will change. The voice that covered your tenor line today may not have the necessary notes tomorrow. My students know by now there is no permanent seating chart because assigning parts in middle school (especially with the boys) is an ongoing process.
  

The courage to change the things I can:

• I worked to develop a carefully thought out set of classroom rules and procedures. I've established a routine to deal with everything from gathering rehearsal materials to exiting the classroom in an orderly manner. I get to class early and have chairs set up before each class in an arrangement that attempts to include preventive measures to avoid conflicts among students. Appropriate consequences are established for students who fail to comply with classroom rules and I apply them fairly.
  
  
• I've been working really hard to plan my rehearsals around the traits of the pre-adolescent and the young teen. I try to include a variety of activities and repertoire in each rehearsal. Movement activities are essential for each period. Wiggle room and short periods of social time are necessary, but it is also important to teach my students to enjoy the less-structured time periods in the rehearsal and to quickly return to rehearsal mode when instructed. This transition skill is taking time and practice, but I think it will pay off in the end. Allowing students to be kids decreases the stress during high-level learning time.
  
  
• Respect breeds respect. In order to earn the respect of students, a teacher must model the desired behavior. Every young person who enters my classroom has value and deserves to be treated courteously. Young teens deal with lack of self confidence regularly. I avoid responding to students in any manner that would lessen their self esteem, which is not always an easy task. Speaking to them in a kind and encouraging manner has led me to find that, in most cases, an attitude of mutual respect will prevent most classroom problems.
  
  
• Discipline issues must be dealt with calmly and fairly. No matter how we try, discipline problems in the middle school classroom cannot be totally avoided. In dealing with conflict, I make sure to remember that I am the adult in the situation. I cannot allow my frustration with a student to determine my behavior, regardless of the situation. Before responding to a challenge, I remind myself how important it is to breath. After warnings of the classroom rules and consequences, if a situation escalates, I am realizing how important it is to allow the student to save face by removing the student from the learning space to deal with in a private conversation. Above all else, it is VERY important to apply discipline consequences fairly.

The wisdom to know the difference:

Middle school music teachers do not enter the profession with dreams of counting tardies, writing referrals, lunch detentions, and CLAW cards, and monitoring testing. First and foremost, we consider ourselves musicians. For most of us, the pursuit of musical excellence has long been our passion. We have spent our lives as musical over-achievers. It is difficult to realize or remember that most of the children in our classes do not come to us with this desire.

Our goals for students involve the enjoyment of art and beauty. In a perfect world, eager youngsters would come to us with an intense desire for learning. They would take in our every word and strive to achieve their personal best in every rehearsal. Our lofty goals for students and their inability comply with our ideals causes conflict for the music educator. This conflict can result in great deal of stress.

By keeping "The Serenity Prayer" in mind, I am finding a measure of contentment. I consider that my middle schoolers are just children in bigger bodies and am learning to choose my battles carefully.

I have decided to avoid frustration by altering my expectations of student behavior and responding with a sense of humor. I attempt to create a classroom atmosphere which includes mutual respect, a variety of activities, and lightheartedness. My goal is to provide a setting where young musicians can flourish and where I can enjoy my time with students.

I am finding that by adapting my personal goals to the level of my students has not lowered my musical standards. A few minutes of laughter each day has not cost my choir a quality product by the end of each lesson. My courtesy toward students has not limited my authority as a teacher. The resulting classroom atmosphere is creating a climate of acceptance and security for my students and for me. I am feeling less stressed about my job and am enjoying my days with my kids again.

At The Desk

As I gear up for week four (how can it already be the fourth week of students?!), I realize I need to be sure to take the time to write down my thoughts. Lesson planning is coming along quite systematically. I've been sitting down on Sundays to write out M-W lessons, then doing the same on Wednesday night for the end of the week. This helps me assess whether or not my pacing is appropriate, which it has been so far!

I am getting close to a month out from my choir concerts and one orchestra, which is exciting but quite stressful at the same time. I am constantly making changes to my "system" to make things work as best as possible, but I really think it's coming along.

I received an email over the weekend from a UNC professor as well as a UNC student about letting students come in and observe me. MAN! It's weird to be on the other end of the college game!

In other news, Roxanne (my car) and I have not been getting along very well. About a week and a half ago, she decided not to start when I was traveling between schools number two and three, so I ended up being 20 minutes late to my class after waiting for the tow truck when she completely died (steering and brakes included!) in the middle of the business highway. Over the weekend, she died on my again at the house in Estes Park so she is having a sleepover at her doctor in Estes while I am using a rental car for work until tomorrow.

The whole experience with her dying on me has been my biggest fear as a traveling teacher, but it's quite humbling to remember that I do not have complete control of my life regardless of how much I have planned out. It's nice to be shocked into that realization every now and then.

Being stranded in Estes gave me lots of time to hike and read since I left ALL of my school stuff (including my computer) in Greeley. Unfortunately, that meant that today has been crazy busy getting things together for the week. Tonight is the first night where I was lesson planning at my desk rather than in the living room on the couch or at the kitchen table. That's saying something, and probably explains why this is so rambling right now.

And We're Off!

It's been two working weeks since I last posted and man this job is tiring, yet oh so rewarding! The first week back, I was at the district office for 8 hour days of meetings (most of which had NOTHING to do with my music job), where I met three other first year District 6 teachers.

Last week, I started the daily shuffle between my three schools--in and out of meetings. In my "spare time" I set up my classrooms and tuned up instruments for school to start. As this week began, I had my first day of school outfit all picked out, and set off on my new adventure with all the optimism in the world. Throughout the past three days of classes, I began a list that I wanted to share. Take from it what you will...

Things you don't learn in school:

Fire drills, especially when followed by lock downs, affect the rest of your class period and it's like herding cats to even try accomplishing anything else that day, but it IS possible.

Learn the students' names as quickly as possible. Classroom management works much more efficiently if you can talk to each student by name rather than just pointing or signaling in their direction. It also shows that you care enough about them to get to know who they are. (Seating charts are easy cheating methods!!)

Talk to other first year teachers so you remember you aren't alone, but stay in touch with your mentor teacher because they are proof that it is possible to get through even the bad days during the first year.

Always be thinking of an extra way to teach a concept. Even between your different classes, some techniques will be working and some just won't. Be prepared with every trick up your sleeve.

Spend time studying and learning about your subject matter before school starts. Especially if you will be teaching instruments that you aren't familiar with, the last thing you want is being put on the spot when a student asks you a question about a fingering or position.

Be ready to think about multiple things at once. Not only are you constantly monitoring student behavior, you have to continue teaching your lessons, check posture and positions, and keep an eye on the clock to manage your time.

When you graduate from college, you are at the peak of your playing thus far (hopefully!) The thing to remember is that your students are NOT college musicians--in fact they are far from it! Learn to let things go or to put something on hold till the next rehearsal if something isn't connecting. Some of the students may have never sang or touched their instruments before, so it's your job to be understanding and available for anything they may need.

Save all your handouts from every methods class in school, even if you think you may not ever need them. You never know what subjects you will be asked to teach regardless of what you think you want to teach. Of the four new music teachers, none of us are teaching exactly what we had in mind, whether it is at multiple schools, different areas of music, or even an extra drama class or two.

Research as much as you can about the school to find out the colors and mascot, the layout, the fire drill and other drill procedures, names of your administration/clerks/custodians, the neighborhoods where the kids are coming from, and anything else that seems helpful.

Planning is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. So much happens at the beginning of and throughout class that if things aren't written down you will more than likely fail. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you will remember everything you have planned for the day.

Be sure to write down notes or experiences from each day at the end of each class. This is an easy way to learn from your mistakes, remember what worked, and know for sure what did not. Go back to these notes once a week or so to make sure your notes are useful and not just sitting around unusable.

Be prepared to make at least five mistakes a day and to admit them when they are made. Make sure the students know you made a mistake so they aren't afraid to take chances and make their own.

Real life teacher situations are completely different from simulated college "lesson plans" or even student teaching. Middle schoolers will test you and push your limits so that you can prove to them that you can and should be their teacher. Even if you can get past that, just know that parents are WORSE.

Back-to-School Night is like open grounds for parents to attack the new teachers. Humans are creatures of habits, and as a new teacher you pose a threat for them. Even if your student is fine in your class, be prepared to meet parents with your shield up and ready to be confident in your answers to any and EVERY question thrown your way.

Meet and make friends with those parents as soon as possible. They will be able to help you in ways you wouldn't think are possible. If you can get the parents to respect you, then their children will probably hear about it at home which will be reflected in your classroom. Just be patient your first week or so for this to start up.

Use your manners and then some when communicating with clerks/custodians. If you can butter them up to be on your sides, the keys to the city will be granted to you and your whole school-world will open up.

Don't show any fear when stepping in front of a classroom or the students will eat you alive. Confidence is key.

Learning has to occur at all times.

Look professional at all times, even if the other teachers in your school have a tendency to dress down. Fight the urge to slip out of bed into something and look professional.

When someone is acting out in class, if you hold them after take the time to get to know the student rather than reprimanding them. More often than not, the student just wants the attention. If you ask them about their life outside of your class, they will understand that you are taking a vested interest in them so they will return that gesture and take a vested interest in you.

Have fun. If your energy level is high, the students' will be as well. Reversely, if your levels are low, theirs will be too.


During our fire drill today, I went up and down the line with my 5th period choir class and found out something about every single one of my students. One boy in that class is unique because he doesn't speak a word in English. In class, we've been working on a song in Zulu (from South Africa) which puts everyone on the same playing field because none of them speak that language anyway. Along with the Zulu, we will translate it into English and Spanish. Yesterday I sang the song for them in Spanish and they were VERY impressed.

At that school, the last minute of class I give my students two questions that they can ask me about anything in the world as long as it is school appropriate. Instead of a question, one of the students yesterday commented that my spanish was very good "for being a white person." I just laughed at that and joked around with them for a minute.

With the student that doesn't speak English, during the fire drill today when I got down the line to him, I started asking him questions in Spanish. At first, he looked at me in shock and then had a big smile on his face as he answered me.

Life is going great and I'm already over halfway through my first week. I can't wait to see what else this year is going to be bringing!!

Day One

Today was my first day of work so, being the planner I am, I got everything together last night. I laid out my clothes, made my lunch, and made sure to set my alarm for 6:30am so I could leave by 7:30am and not be too rushed. When I rolled over this morning at 7:27am, I realized the one thing I didn't check was whether or not my clock was set to the correct am or pm setting.

I sprang out of bed, dressed, grabbed my lunch, and headed out the door without showering. I couldn't believe the stress I had set upon myself already on day one, and called my mom in a panicked mess. Luckily, she answered and I was able to calm down before walking into the room (three minutes early!).

The training today was from 8:00-4:30 and covered classroom management. I met a girl named Bethany from Michigan and we went to lunch together (hooray Chipotle!) and bonded over choir teaching and moving to Colorado.

After the whole day today, I don't feel as scared about what is happening two weeks from now, and I think everything is going to be ok. After school, after showering, I hooked up my internet and the tivo and made dinner for Tom and I when he stopped by after teaching lessons today. Now it's time to get ready for bed and gear up for day two. Tomorrow I get keys to my schools and the adventure continues!