Life Happens For You, Not To You

Sometimes when we go through difficult situations in life, it's hard to remember that God has written all of our days. He promised that the plans for us are for good, not evil, but that doesn't mean we don't/won't go through negative situations. It means that God will use everything we go through to move us toward that good plan. We all have things that happen to us that we don't understand or that don't seem fair, such as a betrayal from a friend, being laid off from your job, not getting a promotion, etc.

The hard part to understand is just because it seems unfair doesn't mean it's not a part of the plan. Just as He uses the positive, "good" things in our life, there is also disappointment. One of the best things I am starting to realize in life though is that nothing happens to me, it happens FOR me. In other words, nothing would have happened unless there was a specific purpose for it in His plans. It's hard to work to accept that fact, especially when the situation is painful, but ultimately it is not going to work against you--it's going to work for you. When you know your life is divinely orchestrated, it takes a lot of pressure off! God knows how to get you where you need to be. When you understand everything in your life is divinely orchestrated, and God controls the whole universe, then you will begin to view adversity and unanswered prayers in a different way.

"Painting is just another way of keeping a diary." --Picasso

Most people think of relationships as the interactions between people, but while it sounds confusing, a relationship is the natural result of people making independent choices.

Everyone has the right to choose what they say and do. That is the Law of Choice. It is the most fundamental principle of relationships. Nothing is more important than our ability to choose for ourselves. Imagine what our lives would be like if that were taken from us?! We wouldn't be individuals at all, only tools in the hands of those who made our choices for us.

A painting is composed of countless individual brush strokes. Similarly, who we are is a result of all the choices we make over our lifetime. Every decision has made is more alone or loved, angry or happy, weak or strong. In our infancy, other people applied those strokes to the canvas of our lives, but with time, we increasingly took the brush into our own hands. From all those choices, we've created a canvas with a unique color, which includes our personality and style, our needs and fears.

When we mix blue and yellow paint, the natural result is green. Green isn't something we hope for or even work for. It just happens every time we mix blue and yellow. Similarly, relationships naturally result from the blending of the colors of each partner, colors produced by the choices each partner has made independently over a lifetime. If I'm yellow and you're blue, our relationship will be green. It doesn't matter if I want the relationship to be orange, or that you want it to be turquoise. The result will ALWAYS be green.

Our relationships are therefore often not what we expect or want them to be, just as expectations and desires are completely irrelevant when mixing two colors of paint. Relationships can only be the result of the choices we've already made to determine our individual color.