A Teacher's Serenity

I can't tell you how many times I've heard the quote or even told someone else, "the only constant in life is change." Anyone who knows me knows that I try and defy that every day due to my incessant need to plan every detail of my life, but I am learning to deal with this "obsession." As much as I have tried, I have found myself powerless to control the actions and attitudes of others. Experience has taught me that the only power I have is the ability to control my own reaction to a given situation.

For a control freak like me, working with pre-teens and young adolescents can prove to be exceptionally stressful. Some educators enter the junior high classroom with fear and trepidation due to the huge reputation middle schoolers have earned. In a world of energy, hormones, and peer pressure, the lone adult in the classroom must possess traits of a superhero in order to succeed.

After spending so much time focusing on my dreams of elementary general music teaching including my student teaching focus, I had established a clam and predictable classroom environment. I fully expected to continue similar class control methods with my older students; however, now just weeks into the school year, I have come to the terrifying realization that an hour with a group of young teens is FAR from predictable!!

My thoroughly detailed lesson plans for middle school would have been the pride of any college education professor. Dr. Stamer and Mr. Tackitt would have been so proud of the template I created for my notebook of daily lessons, combined with my chart of the standards and how they would each be addressed weekly. My plans were based upon sound teaching technique. Students would be able to demonstrate skill in sight-reading as well as in areas of vocal and instrumental development. All the while, they would also develop a love for music while being extremely courteous and cooperative. Day after day, my plans fell by the wayside and I reverted to "seat of your pants" survival techniques, constantly adjusting my daily lesson plans to adapt to the classroom shenanigans. For the past week or so, at the end of the day, I've felt like a failure.

Talking to my mom and friends about different things I could change to keep engagement and learning high in my classrooms, I started looking elsewhere for motivation and/or encouragement. Finally, after looking through a box I found in my closet filled with old cards, I came across a gift from my grandma--one of those wallet cards that had "The Serenity Prayer" in it. While this has been used in programs such as AA, these words offer exactly what I need to know as an educator of young people.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Let me share a few ways I have learned to adapt this message to my dealings with middle school students. I must admit that total serenity is not a state of mind that I have yet mastered, but when I allow myself to take a deep breath, smile, and think of these words, I feel a lessening of my stress level during rehearsal. I apply a bit of humor to the situation and become a better teacher.

The serenity to accept the things I cannot change:

• Boys will be boys! A boy who enters his first year of middle school choir is only a child. Although his body may resemble that of a teenager, he still possesses the qualities of a child. At age 11 or 12, most boys simply cannot be still. Wiggling is not an activity that they choose just to drive me crazy; they actually must move. This need for motion seems to be most satisfying when the movement results in hitting a neighbor. I am learning to give my boys lots of personal space on the risers to avoid potential problems.
  
  
• Girls will talk...and talk...and talk. Observe the soprano and alto sections during your next adult church choir practice. My guess is that during the rehearsal, singing among the women will be interspersed with chatter. If adult choir members find it difficult to keep their thoughts to themselves, why should we expect anything different from our younger counterparts? Females are very social beings. There is just so much to say! Young ladies can be trained to save talking for designated periods during the rehearsal, but it will take time and practice.
  
  
• Boys' voices will change. The voice that covered your tenor line today may not have the necessary notes tomorrow. My students know by now there is no permanent seating chart because assigning parts in middle school (especially with the boys) is an ongoing process.
  

The courage to change the things I can:

• I worked to develop a carefully thought out set of classroom rules and procedures. I've established a routine to deal with everything from gathering rehearsal materials to exiting the classroom in an orderly manner. I get to class early and have chairs set up before each class in an arrangement that attempts to include preventive measures to avoid conflicts among students. Appropriate consequences are established for students who fail to comply with classroom rules and I apply them fairly.
  
  
• I've been working really hard to plan my rehearsals around the traits of the pre-adolescent and the young teen. I try to include a variety of activities and repertoire in each rehearsal. Movement activities are essential for each period. Wiggle room and short periods of social time are necessary, but it is also important to teach my students to enjoy the less-structured time periods in the rehearsal and to quickly return to rehearsal mode when instructed. This transition skill is taking time and practice, but I think it will pay off in the end. Allowing students to be kids decreases the stress during high-level learning time.
  
  
• Respect breeds respect. In order to earn the respect of students, a teacher must model the desired behavior. Every young person who enters my classroom has value and deserves to be treated courteously. Young teens deal with lack of self confidence regularly. I avoid responding to students in any manner that would lessen their self esteem, which is not always an easy task. Speaking to them in a kind and encouraging manner has led me to find that, in most cases, an attitude of mutual respect will prevent most classroom problems.
  
  
• Discipline issues must be dealt with calmly and fairly. No matter how we try, discipline problems in the middle school classroom cannot be totally avoided. In dealing with conflict, I make sure to remember that I am the adult in the situation. I cannot allow my frustration with a student to determine my behavior, regardless of the situation. Before responding to a challenge, I remind myself how important it is to breath. After warnings of the classroom rules and consequences, if a situation escalates, I am realizing how important it is to allow the student to save face by removing the student from the learning space to deal with in a private conversation. Above all else, it is VERY important to apply discipline consequences fairly.

The wisdom to know the difference:

Middle school music teachers do not enter the profession with dreams of counting tardies, writing referrals, lunch detentions, and CLAW cards, and monitoring testing. First and foremost, we consider ourselves musicians. For most of us, the pursuit of musical excellence has long been our passion. We have spent our lives as musical over-achievers. It is difficult to realize or remember that most of the children in our classes do not come to us with this desire.

Our goals for students involve the enjoyment of art and beauty. In a perfect world, eager youngsters would come to us with an intense desire for learning. They would take in our every word and strive to achieve their personal best in every rehearsal. Our lofty goals for students and their inability comply with our ideals causes conflict for the music educator. This conflict can result in great deal of stress.

By keeping "The Serenity Prayer" in mind, I am finding a measure of contentment. I consider that my middle schoolers are just children in bigger bodies and am learning to choose my battles carefully.

I have decided to avoid frustration by altering my expectations of student behavior and responding with a sense of humor. I attempt to create a classroom atmosphere which includes mutual respect, a variety of activities, and lightheartedness. My goal is to provide a setting where young musicians can flourish and where I can enjoy my time with students.

I am finding that by adapting my personal goals to the level of my students has not lowered my musical standards. A few minutes of laughter each day has not cost my choir a quality product by the end of each lesson. My courtesy toward students has not limited my authority as a teacher. The resulting classroom atmosphere is creating a climate of acceptance and security for my students and for me. I am feeling less stressed about my job and am enjoying my days with my kids again.